Sneaky Ways To Make Him Want You
Whether you’re just starting to date someone new or you’ve been a couple for a long time, all us girls want our man to be attracted and attentive to us. Don’t you agree? In either case, no doubt, you want to make him want you (again), right?
Sure you do.
But, as a relationship starts growing and you start getting more comfortable with each other, that crazy, yummy passion you have for each other seems to start slowing down. In some cases, it may even seem he’s not into you anymore and you just want to figure out how to make your man love you more.
Unless he’s got his foot in mid-air ready to give you the boot, there are still ways to make him crazy about you once again. You want him to desire you. Well, to do this, you have to be a desirable partner.
So, how do you do that?
Good news for you, men are simple creatures. And, while each man will have his own set of complex qualities, the one thing that’s common in all men is the traits and qualities they find attractive in us girls. And, no it’s not all about sex. There are actual qualities in women they value that are not physical. So, let’s get down to it — how can you make him want you again?
Here are some tips to try:
1. Get Confident:
If anything is going to attract a guy, it’s a confident woman. And, yeah, you’ve probably heard this many times, but are you confident?
To men, confidence is sexy. It shows you’re secure in your world and don’t need him to make you happy and secure. Sure, he most likely does make you feel happy and secure, but when you’re confident in yourself, you can be those without him.
If you can get your act together and go after what you want in life with confidence, you’re already halfway there to having him go nuts over you.
I can hear you now saying, that’s all fine and dandy Wendy, but how do I get confident? Well, here are some tips that should help:
Change your mental picture of your self-image. In other words, if you’re not confident, it usually has a lot to do with how you “see yourself” internally. If when you envision yourself you see this weak, scared girl who can’t be independent or has to rely on her man to bail her out on things or make you feel good about yourself, then that needs to change.
You’re a beautiful person inside and out and you have what it takes to gain confidence and feel good about yourself. It may take you some time to change the mental self-image of yourself, but you absolutely have the control to do just that — even if you don’t believe it yourself.
Each day take about 10 minutes to sit and visualize yourself as being successful, attractive and confident. While you visualize, add him in the picture too adoring you and loving your confidence. Just try it and see where you’re at in a week. It works I swear!
2. Get Spontaneous:
Even if you thrive on routine and organization, being spontaneous can add that little spark about you and will definitely be attractive to your guy. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to go bungee jumping or break out the handcuffs every night. It just means being able to seek a little challenge and fun in your life — something that perhaps gets you out of the status quo.
When a guy meets a spontaneous gal, he never knows exactly what she’s going to do next, and he’s eager to find out. Also, when the two of you are not together, he knows you’re out there accepting challenges and enjoying what life has to throw at you next, including attracting other men because of this quality of yours.
How about this:
Have unplanned and random sex. The longer you’ve been together, the more “routine” the sex gets. I mean, you pretty much know all the moves, how it’s going to go down, in what order..you know what I mean, right? Well, change that. Out of the blue, grab your man and start kissing him (in a lustful way so he knows what you’re wanting here).
Try different positions or toys in the bedroom. Don’t be afraid to experiment. And don’t be afraid to ask him what he likes, what his fantasy is, that kind of thing. Then (if it’s not too crazy) make his fantasy come true. Be okay with stepping a little bit out of your comfort zone here.
Instead of waiting until night time when the kiddos are in bed, ravish him in the bathroom. Seriously, guys love quickies.
3. Give Him Space:
Let your man have his space girl. But, don’t forget to enjoy some of your own. A good way of making your man realize his feelings for you is to get him to miss you. Think about it, when you first met your man, you weren’t living together and you also probably didn’t spend every waking minute with him either.
So, during this time when you’re apart what did you two do? Most likely sit there and reminisce about what you did the last time you were together and eagerly wait for the next time you can be together.
When you spend every minute of the day with your man, you don’t give him any time to miss you and this can kill that passion and spark after a while. So, make him miss you and make him realize he’s not the only thing in your life that can make you happy. Call your friends and make some plans at least once a week.
When you spend every minute of the day with your man, you don’t give him any time to miss you!
4. Tease Him Just a Little:
You have a rocking body, show it off to him. Put on that cleavage showing shirt or show some shoulder. Let him see the outline of your sexy panties, or better yet, don’t wear any and make sure he knows that. Here’s some sexy clothing that just may do the trick.
5. Don’t Throw Yourself at Him:
This doesn’t mean ignore the heck out of him or play very hard to get. What it means is don’t fall all over him just because your nuts about him. Make it a little challenging for him to be with you (and yes, I also mean physically). He should know that you CHOOSE to be with him, but don’t need to be. You’re a HOT mama and anybody would be lucky to have you.
And, yes, this also works when you’re married or in a long-term relationship. At least it did for me and from what I’ve seen, it has for many other girls too. I think it all goes back to just being confident in yourself. Love yourself girl — you got this.
6. Don’t Be Jealous:
Don’t be the jealous type. So what if he looks at other girls. You have him, not them. Men are programmed to look at other girls, I swear. If you think there’s a reason to be jealous, confront him and if you’re positive there’s a reason for you to be jealous, ask yourself if you should even continue on with this relationship.
But, being jealous because you’re insecure is no good for a relationship and will eat away at it real quick. It’s not very attractive either.
So, here are some tips to stop jealousy in its tracks:
Determine if the feelings of jealousy are actually your own insecurities. Do you have any proof to justify your jealousy or is your mind making it all up? Many of the times I was jealous, it was actually me building nonsense up in my own mind. I’d be so insecure and dwell on my insecurity so much, I’d start believing it was trust. Trust me girl, you want no part of this. If you can’t find proof to justify your jealousy, then let it go. Besides, jealousy is not attractive at all and we’re trying to get him to want you again, not want to get rid of you.
7. Kiss All Time:
There’s nothing more passionate in a relationship than kissing. You’re so intimately close. I know I feel those little shock like sensations deep down in my belly every time I kiss my man. You know those feelings I’m talking about right?
There’s just something about kissing. I think it’s better than sex. It’s so intimate.
Just be sure you’re mouth is ready before you attempt a kiss. Make sure your teeth are brushed and you have clean breath (like don’t kiss him after eating some with garlic or onion). Really give him your all when you’re kissing him — don’t half-ass it. Wrap your arms around his neck and stroke his hair or back of his neck while you’re kissing. This really intensifies the kiss.
8. Tell Him What You Want:
Be upfront with what you want. This also goes along with “being confident”. Men aren’t really that great at reading minds or taking hints. My man totally sucks at it. So, if you want something, just tell him. You may be a little shy or scared at first, but you’ll get the hang of it and he’ll love it, I promise. He won’t have to sit there and guess anymore.
I remember when I was so shy about speaking up and saying what I wanted. I’d end up being so disappointed and frustrated. I made it a point several years ago to just say what I want (and yes I mean sexually too). The trick was I would just blurt it out before I had time to think myself out of asking for it. After a while, it became easier. And, now I don’t have to really ask for much because he already knows what I want and like.
9. Be Yourself:
Everyone’s been told one time or another to just “be yourself.” I know I have and I try all the time. I do catch myself, however, from time to time trying to be the person I think my boyfriend wants me to be. That’ usually when we’re winding down from an argument and I just want to get over it and on with it.
Sometimes when we’re trying to please or impress another person, we tend to step into the role of what we think that person is looking for in another person. And, this in my opinion, is okay once in a while. But, if you’re trying to totally transform yourself just to make your man happy, you might want to step back a little and ask yourself why? What’s wrong with you? Why do you think he won’t love you just the way you are?
When you love yourself and BE yourself, that shows confidence!
When you can love yourself and BE yourself, that shows confidence and as we already discussed above, confidence is sexy. So, seriously girl, just be yourself and stop trying to turn into someone you’re not.
I mean, it’s definitely okay to always be working on yourself and improve yourself — just don’t go overboard and totally change who you are and what makes you, YOU. Besides, the good men will appreciate you just the way you are.
Take a little by yourself to get to know YOU again. Maybe make a list of the things you value in life and what about you that you like the most. What do you enjoy doing and what brings you pleasure in life? When you take the time to evaluate yourself, you can start to enjoy life and really shine just being you.
10. DON’T Be Clingy:
Just don’t! Seriously, it’s not helping your relationship if you are. I know when you feel insecure or that your man is drifting away from you a little bit, your first instinct is likely to “try and make him want you again”. And by all means, you can totally do this — check out this post. But, when you’re “trying to make him want you again” by complaining, crying, following him all over the place, not giving him any space, etc., you’re not doing yourself any favors. You’re actually pushing him further away.
So, if you find you’re starting to become a pest and you’re two minutes away from turning into a piece of velcro, stop. Ever heard the saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder?” Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about here. Give your guy some space and take some of your own.
So how do you do this?
Figure out WHY you’re being clingy in the first place. It most likely has to do with some insecurity of yours, so figure out what that is.
Once you figure it out, ask yourself for proof (remember this? we just talked about this) and if there’s no proof then let it go.
Find something that interests you. Why not start a blog? That will keep you busy and when you start making money with it, your man will never see you again (just kidding). But you won’t feel the need to cling to him anymore.
Make plans with a friend — just do it.
Take a class of some sort (yoga, dance, art, whatever) just to get you out of the house.
11. Initiate Sex Once In A While:
Usually, in many relationships, the man is the one who initiates sex. I mean that makes sense, they’re always horny. They love taking charge and watching you surrender to their advances. They especially love it when you really get into it.
But, having to be the one to ALWAYS make the first move can get old. And, these days, men seem to like the woman who goes after what they want. Like women, men also want to feel wanted. By initiating sex yourself once in a while, it shows your man you’re still into him and just want to get your hands all over him.
12. Stop Texting Him All the Time:
When you’re not with the one you love and you start missing them, it’s only natural to want to send them a text or call them to check up. Doing this all day long is a turnoff, in my opinion, and a bit “clingy.” You’re not giving your guy a chance to miss you when you’re constantly texting them every hour. And, trust me, I’ve been known to do this. It does no good for your relationship.
If you want them to miss you back or wonder what you’re up to, then don’t reach out and let him be the one to reach out to you.
This also works well when you live with the guy. Make it a point to make some girl time for yourself. You don’t have to always be up his ass (sorry, harsh). Again, I know — I’ve totally been there.
Now, I’m not saying play games with your man. That’s just drama and not really healthy for your relationship. All I’m saying is, every once in a while, just go out and do something you enjoy. Don’t ask his permission and while totally up to you, don’t even tell him where you’re going until you get back. Don’t answer your phone if he calls or texts. Just let him know when you get home, you didn’t have your phone on you or the ringer was off, etc.
All I’m saying is don’t ALWAYS be available to him. Make him wonder a little. I’m sure some people are not going to agree with this, but that’s fine and totally cool. I’m just saying it always works for me and makes him realize how much he cares about me.
The only time I don’t suggest doing this is if your man is insecure, overly jealous or if you’ve been unfaithful to him recently. Then, this tactic will probably backfire and make him even more insecure or think you’re up to no good.
But, if you’re in a healthy relationship, by all means, take a timeout with yourself away from him and let him wonder where you are.
Okay, so these are just some of my tips to help you make him want you whether you’re just starting out in the relationship or you’ve been with him for years and things are getting stale. If you have any tricks up your sleeve that has been successful, please do share them below.
Blue inked Fingers.