Bleeding yet Healing

I remember when I was younger and I learnt about depression, anorexia, self harm and anxiety. I wondered how people came to that point in their life, that how would it feel and I would think I would never be any of those and yet here I'm. When I was a teenager no one asked me why I was suicidal, why I was hurting myself, why it was okay to be bullied, why did I think less of living my life, why every small thing hurt me big time, why didn't I get any answers for everything I went through 'cause I always knew I wouldn't get the answers about everything happened to me and it didn't kill me, it only made me stronger and life kept me motivated. So whenever you think you are going through pain it's just making you stronger. And yes, I still cry, I hate myself sometimes, but then I know I'm stronger than I thought I'm, because I'll never harm myself for the sins and mistakes other people commit.

There are so many medical terms to what you feel but I'm going to call it Sadness. Sadness to let go of someone you love the most, sadness of not having anyone around you, sadness of not being socially accepted, sadness of being cheated on, sadness of having family issues, sadness of being constantly body shamed, sadness of not being rich enough, sadness and the series of sadness. You cut yourself to feel the pain on the outside, so your body could reduce the pain you feel in the inside. You hurt yourself so when other people hurt you, you don't feel the pain because you are already being hurt. Depression is a phase where whatever you do, you will only make yourself feel less and it makes you feel that every good thing happening to you is going to turn into a bad moment of your life.

You can fight this !..

You need to constantly remind yourself that you are good enough, you are worthy enough, you are beautiful the way you are and you are nothing less than the people around you. You cannot change what's done, but you can forgive yourself for all the hurricanes, the floods, the earthquakes, the disastrous things happened to you and to the people around you because of you. Past hasn't changed, will not change but you have to. Just let go the burden of your past, it's always a new day and a new beginning.

I know letting go sounds easy, but as human being, it's probably the most hardest thing we will ever have to do. It takes immense amount of courage to be able to say goodbye to someone who meant a lot to you. But you can't keep holding on to things that make you sad. Anything that doesn't make you happy, let it go, your friends or your boyfriend/girlfriend let them leave. Nothing is worth more than your happiness. Have strength to say goodbye to who or what you used to love.

There is so much to life my dear and so many beautiful things along the way, all you got to do is feel the happiness within yourself and not on the outside. You're so much more than just a person, you are a fighter. You can and you will fight this, if you start following these 5 things to heal;

5 Things to do to heal yourself while bleeding:

1. Engage in an enjoyable activity, keep your brain occupied with something you love the most. It can be watching a movie (avoid depressing movies), dance lessons, a pet and in my case I write, I cook and I walk my dog.

2. Maintain a healthy, balanced diet, that will help you from binge eating. Go for a run, nothing is as healthy as running. It clears your mind and makes you feel better and you also lose few extra pounds. Meditation is a healer you can always try that for a better well being.

3. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself. Go get a haircut or maybe a pedicure and you can always treat yourself with some ice cream.

4. Spend time with your family and friends, they can always lift your spirits up. spend as much as time with them for a positive and healthy vibe.

5. If you think you need help and you cannot do this on your own, don't shy away. Ask your friends and family and they will definitely help you out.

If you have ever felt that you are depressed and lonely and the feeling of not having anyone. You feel weak and devastated and you feel everything is falling apart. You can't share it with your friends and family 'cause you feel they won't understand. The only thing you need is someone you can talk to, someone wouldn't judge you for it. I just want to let you know that I am here if you need me. I am here to lift your spirits up. I am here to just talk to you.

Blue inked Fingers

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